Wednesday, November 2, 2011

The Women Out There

Often the saddest situation you will possibly notice in a club is the lights turned on at closing time. That's the moment you realize that although you've been bankrolling her martinis since midnight, she won't be heading home with you. And why should she? You're a stranger, and all this is only a game. Once the neon's flicker on, the fantasy ends.

"Guys are possessed by the fantasy of the pick up," It is in their heads that these pubs and clubs are "heaving with nameless women who are dying to have sex with just about most any man that is self-assured enough to speak to them." The reality is that under 6 percent of girls admit to having had sexual intercourse with their male partners within a couple of days or less of hooking up with them, and fewer than 20 % of men and women claim they first met their latest sexual partner in a bar. Perhaps it is the nasty preconception of night life: A recent survey of over a thousand women by, a market studies organization, reveals that virtually 25 percent of females would be embarrassed to confess that she met a lover in a bar.

So why does the alcohol drenched pick-up scene exist? Besides the obvious reasons (tequila, whisky, vodka), there is a unexpected one as well: inexperience. Males are new to this 21st century form of the boy meets girl game. In the early 70's, the typical age for marriage was twenty three for males and 21 for ladies. Today it's twenty eight and twenty six. "It used to be that people believed they'd in some way missed out if they did not have a spouse by the time they graduated college or university," "Today, people think they need to establish themselves economically first." The postponement of "I do" implies many men will be on their own in their twenties, a trend which populates the club scene and empties the church aisles.

The actual world of dating is tough on men. The danger and burden of rejection is nearly always on them, simply because men initiate about 80 % of interactions. And therefore the competition is challenging for men in their 20s and thirties: With every one hundred single women there is typically 113 single males, based on the U.S. Census Bureau. And these males just are not doing the job. The Pew Analysis Center discovered that about half of young singles claimed going on just 1 date during the 3 months prior to its study, and fifty five percent of single people who had been searching for love said it had been hard to meet people.

However the situation does not have to be this gloomy. In fact, there's no better moment to be single than during economic uncertainty. A recent eHarmony study discovered that a quarter of single women claim that financial pressure has increased their need for a romantic relationship. Compare this with the 61 percent of males that say money concerns are causing anxiety in their love lives. Consider it this way: Far more women are available, and they are primed for connecting. But men are hoping to meet them with $15 martinis and will be going home on their own and penniless.